I can’t believe Hollywood made a movie like Sharknado after turning down MY pitch: Untalented Hollywood starlets turn into zombies and stalk reality show contestants, which it turns out is a sizable portion of the population of Los Angeles. They can only be stopped if a washed-up concert promoter on the California sex offender registry can convince the world’s top 3 boy bands to join forces, whose collective virginity gives them the power to kill the starlet zombies, but only if they can manage to not be seduced by them for sex tapes.

I call it “Slutnado: Sex-crazed Zombie Sluts of Hollywood.” Beat that, Sharknado hashtag! Bow before #Slutnado !