My cat Lionheart is some kind of genius. Well, Cecil is too, but Lionheart is an evil genius.

No matter what time I’ve got my alarm clock set to go off, Lionheart begins yowling to wake up an hour before. It never fails. If I’m up at 6, he starts yowling at 5. When I was filling in on the KFI morning show and I was getting up at 2:30, he started yowling at 1:30. That’s just demonic.

I was telling this story to KFI News Director Chris Little. He smiles a eureka-like smile and says, “Why don’t you set your alarm for an hour after you want to get up?”


So I tried it, laughing maniacally like some kind of evil scientist building a Kryptonite-fueled super robot to defeat Superman, and went to bed.

The next morning, no yowling at all. Nothing. Not a peep out of Lionheart. I finally creaked my eyes open and he’ staring at me. “It’s not nice to try to fool a cat,” he seemed to glare.

If my body is never found, you know who to question.