Star Wars 7? I’ve got an idea…

J.J. Abrams is directing Star Wars 7? Here’s a thought, a crazy, crazy thought… Have him “reboot” the prequels, but do it in one film. Do it right. Write a better, tighter story. Write dialog that doesn’t make the audience puke. Make Jar Jar an unperson and drop all records and photos of him into a memory hole. Please dear god find an actual actor to play Anakin.

J.J. angered some Trek purists with his reboot of Star Trek. Granted, some of the elements that made Trek transcend itself just weren’t there. But also granted, it was a fun action ride of a movie — just what the original Star Wars films had in abundance, and the prequels totally forgot. If J.J. did for a Wars prequel what he did to Trek, we’d have a *ride*, baby.

Okay, I know that’s not going to happen. And I’m sure Star Wars 7 will have that swashbuckling fun we all miss. J.J. obviously knows how to make a fun, summer thrill ride of a flick with just enough story and decent acting and a good cast to hold it together. (Again, see Trek.)

The story of Darth Vader’s origin was not a bad one to want to show, it’s just that Lucas screwed the pooch by not letting someone else take his story outline and write it up all pretty, and by not letting someone talk him out of pointlessly stretching it into a trilogy. The one and only thing that I can even stomach from the prequels is that brief shot in Revenge of the Sith with Obi-Wan and Anakin laser saber fighting way off in the distance. That was a cool shot. But that’s it.

Maybe I’m wishing this because there’s a place deep inside of me, where I’m dark and paranoid and scared like a little boy lost in the woods, that seeing an aging Luke and Leia and Han is just going to make me… sad.

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