I need sleep. I need to be able to experience silence again. I need more absorbent toilet paper. I need a more effective antacid. I need a Mustang convertible. I need to not lose my youth and relevance so quickly. I need fresher breath. I need a vacation. I need less stress. I need dishwasher detergent that doesn’t leave streaks. I need faster Internet service. I need some quiet. I need a time machine so I can go back to simpler times. Free gasoline for a year would be cool too.

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